I live a moment that feels like an encyclopedia. Yesterday, at a backyard party, I was asked who sang the song that was playing, and I yelled, “Keisha Cole,” with a bit of enthusiasm. I was right, and I shone with such joy that I felt foolish.
I always think I annoy people, but in reality people don’t think about me at all. Anyway, I love being right. Being right is fun, and people who act so zen cool and humble about being wrong are… WRONG! Get over yourself! Humility is so 2019. This year is all about shameless bragging.
I would love to see your vacation photos. I want to see your degree I would love to see the finished, beautifully scented folded laundry. I want to see you win
Misery enough. Wear a crop top, show off your promotion, and show off the salad you made and the fries you ate when you were short of salad. I was. After entering that sentence, I calculated the number of TV minutes in total. Some mysteries are best left unsolved, so I closed the calculator within seconds of opening it.
Trying to go deep is exhausting. I’m definitely mad. Why am I an expert on Mormon swingers TikTok drama? On the other hand, I don’t know what plants are native to my area. In connection with this rise in Mormon swapping knowledge: today we blew the limit on TikTok (Also!). So once again it’s time to do the self care his theater of deleting social his media apps that are allowing him to ruin his life and then re-downloading them after 3 hours of boredom again I was.
“If you’re bored, you’re bored” – Honey, prepare the starboard side, for that ship has sailed!I boredAnd I don’t want to watch a feature film unless I’m depressed, anxious, exhausted, and think it’s going to get worse. don’t tell me
A friend recently told me that there are no Thunderworms in Seattle. I couldn’t believe it. It was the same betrayal I felt when I learned that restaurants in my hometown weren’t all super-popular national chains. Not being able to see everything kills me. Watch the bug’s butt turn on and off as the sun slides behind the trees…
Maybe my friend was wrong. Maybe she wasn’t paying attention to the bugs around her all that time.Maybe she was always surrounded by lightning and she didn’t know anything.I doubt it.
I am now back in New York. I’ve been away for a long time, but now I can use my cell phone to take the subway. what the hell? Do we like it or are we terrible at it? please don’t say I don’t think I really care. is that a bad thing? I don’t feel like I care about everything anymore. There were years when I cared for everything, but all it gave me was ulcers.
I don’t know which button to press at a gas station. I was too scared to ask, so I’m pretty sure I chose the diesel for the first few months of driving. Oops! Thankfully, I totaled the car so no one knows what I did to its guts.
Usually, shortly after I set off, I realize that I was in the right place at the right time. The pain creeps in and I want to turn around and be right back where I was. Too inconvenient. And how humiliating it is to be the only one stretching his neck towards something that’s over. It probably meant more to me than it does to you. But what if you are also looking? Is that something that only happens in movies, or should we pay more attention to the longing gaze?
Sometimes I say I don’t have goals, and I mean it. Is it pathetic or lovely? A little bit of both, I think. I believe I can do anything. I believe I will disappear as quickly as I came. You can hate olives one day and love olives the next, and you keep finding new things to love about yourself and others. I believe. We’re right back in the middle and back to the seats that were just vacated and still warm. Unless the heat comes from someone you know and love, a warm chair can be disgusting. Heat from your butt is heat from your butt, no matter which butt it comes from. Digression.
I hope you can meet a thunderbug once in your life. Their light, before you know it, the summer is over, the bugs are dead, you and I are still here, and you see the world getting bigger and smaller, louder and more cluttered. Until, it glows as fast as it fades. I will outlive millions of thunderbugs, but my ass will never be a source of light. It has a special little thing that cannot be claimed. Show yours as the pink summer sun pulsates gently in tandem as it rises again over the horizon.
Episodes are weekly columns that explore moments in the writer’s life. Mitra Jouhari has contributed to TV shows such as ‘Big Mouth’ and ‘High Maintenance’. She is the co-creator and star of the comedy series Three Busy Debras.